updating

hi peeps. i am back. i know this blog is already dead and i assume nobody will read this post but that not the reason y i started a blog. i blog because i just wanted to remind myself of things i've done and experience. so my blog is for me to read and the rest is 'lebih' wan.

like i say, a lot had happpen. people come n people go. time passes and i m still me. only this time i've grow a bit and a lil' more experience. a little wiser i say but personality have gone down which is a dissapointment. i met a lot of different 'kind' of ppl but the owner of my rented apartment 'kind', i hope i never wanted to meet that kind ever again. believe me, brings misery to everyone around her. if you wanna know more then visit celakastories.blogspot.com to read more on her. she is 1 hell of a celaka person. she say 1 thing today n try to be friends with u and the next day she will say the opposite things n try to kill u without you even realising it. i tell u if i m uneducated enough and there's no law in this country, i will smack her face flat and suck out all her fats to make soap for better use and her bones, i will feed all the starving pariah dogs on the street. but of cos i wont do that, i m well educated so i m just going to settle things peacefully. everytime i think of her juz makes my blood boiled. i hope the rm200 that she cheat us, she can buy good medicine to treat her diabetes or hypertension and i hope she buys them from me next time. i sound evil dont i?? haha..i just cant stand people that cheat. and for a mere 200 bucks. cant stand it!! i was going to clean her apartment for her before i leave, but the way she treated us, not even a 2nd thought of cleaning. i was so angry, i stole 1 of the light and the lights that i fixed, i unfixed it. after a couple of days, i kind of felt guilty. see, that's the different between good and bad people. the goods' always felt guilty even they done the smallest mistakes but the bads' they dont feel anything and keep on cheating people. so dont compare me with her, dont even think of it!! anyway the issue is over now and i dont wanna waste my energy or brain space to remember her. it only shorten my life better think of happy momments but at this moment its like none. how sad.

so go on to the next story. another depressing 1. so any of you that is already depressed i warn you not to read on. i dont want any suicide case happening. haha. i was having clinical attachment last few weeks. its quite an eye opener. learn quite a lot of stuff. u must be asking what i do there. nothing much actually. most of the time is reading the patient's note, it's a summary of why the patient is admitted and the clinical progress. 1 thing that is similar of all the patient's note is the horibble handwritting of the doctors. the higher qualification the doctor is, the worser their handwritting. believe me. at 1st i thought doctor's handwritting is a myth. i clerk 7 case there, 2 long case and 5 short case. there's a particular case a young girl, she have SLE (systemic lupus erythromateus). its kinda of depressing because most SLE patients are very young. it is an autoimmune disease, may be due to genetic. when i am clerking all the case, it juz makes me realize how fortunate i am, being so healthy and all. looking at them really makes me sad because i know soon their time will be up and i mean real soon. so if i'm gonna work for the next 4 years serving government in the hospital, i think i'll end up as an alcoholic or druggie to make myself happy or i may fall into depression. however, i learn a lot of stuff there. there is 1 machine, i think is a dialysis machine which is very cool. your blood goes through the machine and the machine changes your bad plasma with new human albumin. this is call plasmapheresis. quite cool huh?? i think so. another thing i learn is peritoneum dialysis where the doctor will stab a pipe into your abdomen and then put electrolyte into the stomach. note i say stab. after that the water will be sucked out. this is normally for renal impairment patient where too much water is in the body. that's all la..i lazy to type all..really a lot of things i learn from there. i am wondering if i wants to work in the hospital or not next time. if i choose to work in the hospital, i can learn a lot of stuff and apart from that, i can really help the patient and understands people more but the salary is less. if i choose to work outside, retail or business, then the salary more but helping the patient is less. all that is matter is how to get profit which is not what i wan either. i know money is important but what is more important is when you do a job u can feel that u r satisfied with it. that is the most important factor. okok ignore this last part, its my inner voice fighting. haha.

lastly, its about the preparation to go scotland. man~ it's so much work. i haven't pack. i am freaking myself out. there's so many things to prepare such as creams, socks, specs, change money, visa, air ticket, insurance, yada yada yada..man~ damn lots of things la..very very stress..anyway there's still convo, where to stay n all..sigh~ u know y i m so stress, because i m doing everything on my own. my mum dunwan to do it because she dunwan the extra headache plus she is going through a lot n i dunwan to burden her. so i have to do everything including my mum's role. man~~ stress!!!